I am relearning faith. Starting from the beginning again, one might say. I have lived a very complex, emotive life. Complicated by a constant internal war between emotions and rationality, belief and doubt, trust and anxiety, hope and fear. For every positive there was an equal or greater negative, it seemed. Then last week, I had an experience with God that assured me beyond doubt that He is real, and he is with me, and he is everything he claims to be.
After an experience like that, I found that I don’t have room anymore for the fear, anxiety, doubt and constant overthinking and controlling that had come to dominate me. It’s not that I “decided” to get rid of these things. Rather, they sort of just washed away. Those experiences stopped coming. Instead, in their place was a calm, peaceful assurance that I am choosing to trust in the Lord.
I don’t have a better way of explaining this. I’ve heard of other people experiencing this supernatural hope and trust, but in all of my years as a christian, this is my first time truly feeling freedom. I am free! Free of worry! Free of fear! Free of the burden of my own mind! Because finally, I know, not only cognitively, but on the soul level, that my God is all powerful, all knowing, and trustworthy. And beyond that, he loves me! He wants to give me the desires of my heart!
And my life, is not my own anymore, it is in his hands, to utilize for his kingdom, which when it is fully in place, will bring ALL people this same freedom! And the best part is, is how simple it is! Trust him, and find hope! Love him, he loves you! Believe him and he will give what you ask! God is bringing his kingdom! And if you truly are okay with that, the disappointment of things not going the way you expected, will feel minimal compared to the excitement that comes with looking forward to God’s plan unfolding.
I am SO excited to see the kingdom unfold in and around me! I know that God is doing huge things, and he is asking us to help. Ryan and I got our invitation to our Missionary Orientation 3 months before we expected it, and I have NO DOUBT that God is moving up our timeline! He knows what he is doing! He is bringing his kingdom, and on top of that, he’s giving me the desires of my heart! Such beauty there is, in the simplicity of love.
With all the things God is doing in our life, We recently decided that it was time to expand our blog. The result is this site, Simple Love.
Ryan writes a bit on the theme we have chosen to represent ourselves:
We chose to name our site Simple Love because when thinking about why we do what we do, and why we follow Jesus, there is only one real answer: We love because he first loved us. It is that simple. There is no argument so profound or event more impactful than simply experiencing the love of God. That is all we want; to live our lives sharing simple love with people we interact with in hopes that they too meet and experience the source of our love–God. Therein, is love.
Our emphasis on ‘Simple‘ comes from our tendency to complicate things and attempt to control the events in our daily lives. There was a point very early in our marriage when our to do list and the calendar was more important than interacting with other people. With our understanding of God, we knew that this wasn’t right. In addition to our misaligned priority patterns, we often tried to come up with cognitive and complex ways of “rationalizing” God to ourselves and to others. We realized that wasn’t the way to go about living a life of love with God. We came to the conclusion that faith isn’t complex, it is rather simple. It is trusting in the gaps. When things don’t make sense in life or with God, we have faith, borne of love. Arguments and complexities aren’t necessary for a successful ministry and life with God. We just need love. Plain and simple.